Next to me

Hanoi Moment

I just returned home from sending you off at the airport. It is quiet here and I am missing you. It is hard thinking of you sitting back in your seat and closing your eyes now as you prepare for the long journey ahead and to know that you will be further and further away from me with every passing minute. But anyway, I have to be strong and focus on matters at hand: work, taking care of life's daily necessities and of course the positive things as well, which include starting to make plans for our next meeting in Brazil in late June. Two months without seeing you and without being able to be with you will feel very long. But at least if we pass this difficult period, we will have many nice things to look forward to. Brazil will be a whole new world for me and I am already very excited about discovering your country with you. Then there is August when you will be back here in Asia with me for the whole month and many occasions this autumn to be shared together in Europe. It will be lovely. In the meantime, despite the distance, you will be next to me always wherever I am, in my heart and in my mind, keeping me from being lonely.

Home away from home

23 Love Lane

This is ‘23 Love Lane’, the little hideaway we shared in Penang these past few days. Simply named after its street address, this charming and lovingly restored place felt more like a home than a hotel with just a few rooms, all in a different style and with lush gardens and an eclectic décor that combines antiques and knick knacks with stylist contemporary art. It is just the kind of place I love and the fact that it happened to be located down a winding backstreet called ‘Love Lane’ made it all the more inviting. I have been in Asia now for 18 years and for some strange reason have never visited Penang. It was lovely to discover it with you for the first time with its unique character and relaxed pace that perfectly suited our own. I enjoyed our leisurely walks along those historic streets and the long afternoon chats we shared in our quiet room as we escaped the mid-day heat. It was a perfect small getaway and I loved being there with you. We have many wonderful photos as souvenirs of our time together there and even more memories to last a lifetime.

Love Lane

     We have just returned from Penang, in Malaysia. This is a lovely place, but it is far to be one of my favorite cities in the world. Anyway, this was one of the best travels I have ever experienced. It was fun to stroll the streets of the old town hand in hand with you, try new tastes and climb Penang Hill - a high one - with you at the end of our last day there. Many times we talked about finding a way to live together along the next year. We will keep an eye on opportunities in Asia, Europe or South America in order to be living in the same place. And many times we looked at each other like two teenagers in love, despite of being in our mid-fourties.

     I could repeat the common place that I love Paris, for exemple. I have been there many times, one of them with you. But none of my sojourns in the City of Light was so pleasant as this one in the much more modest Penang in the hottest time of the year in Southeast Asia. I still think about that delicious Chinese breakfast you decide to have instead of the conventional one in the hotel.

     By the way, our hotel - a stylish small one - was located in a street named Love Lane, a very appropriate place for us. If you knew how I appreciate your companionship, your talks, your smile...

     This is my last day in Asia this time. Tomorrow I will fly back to Europe. But I will never forget this first approach to this lovely part of the world that you love so much. Perhaps I will be here with you someday.

A skillful sleeper

Henri Rousseau - The Sleeping Gypsy - 1897

Referring to your earlier post on our time in Hanoi, I am reminded of one of your most adorable and curious attributes: that is to say your unique ability to fall asleep almost anywhere and in almost any position. We both know well that you do stick to quite a regular routine, falling to sleep each night like clockwork at one minute past midnight without fail. At first I admit that I found this very odd, being myself a night owl and with a pretty irregular schedule. But after some time, I realized that it was probably healthy and better to do things your way, giving our bodies a chance to rest fully each night in order to be refreshed for the following day.

But what has really impressed me more than this is how you can sleep in many different situations. For example, if we are in a car, a plane or any sort of moving vehicle, you sleep. I suppose this is not so unusual.  Then, I have seen you fall asleep during at least two cultural performances: the Whirling Dervishes in Istanbul (kind of understandable really with all that repetitive whirling and spinning) and just last week during the Water Puppets show in Hanoi. I pretended to be cross with you and pinched you each time your head fell forward and threatened to never go with you to another performance if all you would do is sleep. But in reality, I found it cute and funny.  

I think though that the most remarkable sleeping ‘performance’ you have given to date must be that time you fell asleep standing while reading one of the information  boards at  Orhan Pamuk’s ‘The Museum of Innocence’ in Istanbul. I was on one side of the room reading away and you were on the other and all of the sudden I turned around and saw you catch yourself from falling down as you had fallen asleep standing up!! It still makes me laugh to recall it now. My darling, you are a very skillful sleeper. I love you.

Taking the good and the bad times

     Yesterday you had an allergic reaction, possibly related to something you ate. I went to the hospital with you and tried to support you as I could, at least talking to you and holding your hand at the moment of taking blood for the exams. Be sure that I am your man not only in the good times.

     Nonetheless, after being attentive to your health and you taking the prescribed drugs, we went to a beauty salon in order to manicure and pedicure you. I came together to accompany you, being there leafing through a gossip magazine while you did it, but you wanted me to do my nails as well. After a while without doing such thing, I submitted my hands and feet to the Thai ladies there. It was nice in the end, and I felt much better after the treatment. But if my football friends know it, they will tease on me. But I don't mind. It was another pleasant moment together with you. I like the way we take care of each other. I will never take you for granted.

A house in Hanoi

     I love traveling with you who are a traveler indeed, not just a tourist. Beside you, I have experienced new places and different cultures, known distant peoples and felt new flavors, new smells, new sights in a special way. We are just back to your place after five days in Vietnam. At the beginning I was a little upset with the chaos on the Hanoian streets, all that disorder on the sidewalks and the danger of small children without a helmet riding motorcycles with their parents. Furthermore, I was soon badly affected after eating street food. But I was slowly realizing that Vietnam has a very delicate but strong people, a complex culture and a peculiar character. It was great to be with you in the Temple of Literature. I never imagined that there was one. Sorry for dozing off during the Water Puppet show. I enjoyed them anyway.

     However, if I have to choose my favorite moment, it was in the house we rent in the suburbs of Hanoi to spend our last night there. We could not only experience a bit of the city as it is apart from the tourist common places but to enjoy a long conversation seated in the porch, over a glass of wine, at the close of the day. No need to mention my pleasure to share comments and impressions with you. I admire your courage, your intelligence and your knowledge of Southeast Asia, the place where you decided recreate your life many years ago, after an accident of life. Now I am eager to experience Thailand with my darling.

Traveling to you

    I'm leaving for Asia today in order to meet you. I have been looking forward to this moment for a long time already. It will be a long and exhausting journey across this planet, but it will be very worthwhile. When I come back, I will be full of new experiences and new stories to tell. And this travel will also be another step in our process of getting closer to each other and knowing each other better. Furthermore, if "travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness", as Mark Twain wrote, we have been fortunate in a sense, because our love - due to our current circumstances - has grown up in the middle of many travels to different corners of the world.

     I can't wait to have my girl in my arms again!

An ongoing conversation

Homage to J.S. Bach - Georges Braques- 1912

This afternoon the music of Bach’s Concerto for 2 Violins came into my head. It is a beautiful and popular classical piece which you will surely know. Bach is one of my favorite composers and one of yours as well I think. I especially like this piece since I read somewhere a long time ago that the music made by the two violins was meant to imitate the sound of two lovers’ voices speaking tenderly to one another. Listening to it, this is easy to imagine as one violin starts off slowly and the other responds in turn, sometimes quickening for a moment, then slowing again, each in a different tone but managing to blend together in perfect harmony. Bach wrote this concerto in 1720 when he was the choirmaster at the German court and it is considered to this day one of the very best examples of Baroque music ever written. It is notable for the gentle yet expressive relationship between the two violins throughout the work and I was thinking that our love is also like this: an ongoing  and beautiful conversation between our two hearts. 

Happy listening. 

On kisses and kissing

     I am really excited to cross the world in order to meet you again. It will be great to be guided around Asia by you. For sure I will be in very good hands. All along last morning I was packing my stuff for this long journey. I'm missing your kisses, your smell, our long talks into the night, your touch.

     By the way, I was just seeing this picture of a high relief in Vienna, at a monument in honour of Strauss. It reminded me of your way of kissing... of your peculiar lips kisses, with not much tongue envolved. I'm glad I'll have plenty of them again in a short while.

     Writing about your kisses, I remember now one of my favourite poems, written by the great Catullus to his beloved Lesbia in Rome, around 65 BC. I remember I shared it with you months ago. This is an English translation:

     Let us live, my Lesbia, and let us love,

     and all the words of the grave old men

     may be worth less than one penny!

     Suns may set, and suns may rise again;

     but when our brief light extinguishes,

     we will sleep a never ending night.

     So kiss me thousand times, then hundred more,

     then thousand others, and a second hundred,

     yet another thousand, and one more hundred.

     Then, when we have counted up many thousands,

     we will mix them so as not to know them all,

     or any evil one is able to envy us 

     when he knows how many kisses we have shared.

Maybe it is written in the stars

You will be in Asia with me in less than a week from now. It is exciting that you will be discovering a completely new part of the world. I often wonder what you will think of it and if you will like it as much as I do. People here are different in their approach. They move at a slower pace as you know and keep their emotions behind a smile which can mean many different things, as you will see. They are in general superstitious and interested in the supernatural, in spirits, fate and karma. Fortunetellers are very popular while Buddhism shapes thoughts and values. In Thailand and Burma especially, it is a strongly held belief that the day of the week a person is born on determines his/her character. For this reason, people born on certain days are considered to be more compatible than others. In China and Vietnam on the other hand, it is the "year" you are born in the lunar calendar (Tiger, Horse and Snake) which shapes personality and who will get along and fall in love with who. This is a little bit different than in the west where we are more focused on the month of birth and the signs of the zodiac, something that is not largely followed in Asia.

This actually reminds me of our very first conversation when we exchanged birth dates and you exclaimed, 'That's great! Maybe it is written in the stars.' upon learning that I am a 'Crab', born under the sign of Cancer as Cancer and Scorpio (your sign) are supposed to be highly compatible.  Both water signs, Cancer is thought to be ruled by the Moon and emotion while Scorpio is ruled by the planets Mars (passion) and Pluto (power), making for an intense emotional and physical combination. I found this nice description of our two signs' compatibility to share with you:

The attraction between Cancer and Scorpio is magnetic, deeply felt and has the potential to withstand the test of time. The warmth, caring and devoted nature of Cancer feel regenerating to Scorpio while Scorpio's sense of an all-encompassing love appeals to Cancer deeply. Both have similar ways of expressing their love and make each other feel "at home" throughout their lives.

I like the part which says our love will make us feel "at home". It will be nice if we two gypsies, (born in different corners of the world and living in equally distant places) could find a home not in a place but in a person. I hope we will be "home" to one another wherever we are and wherever we may find ourselves in the future.

Difficult days

It is true that we passed some difficult days recently. The distance between us is hard at times to manage and the more I need you, the harder it is to be apart. You were preoccupied since I left London with finishing up your obligations at the university and with all that this entails and I have to admit I was very lonely without you and feeling abandoned. I imagined you did not need me as much as I was needing you and I began to question whether you really did love me as you said.

In the end, you showed how you care for me and I am feeling much better since we talked it through. I can see your effort over these days and I am happy with it. I really look forward to our daily conversations: to making plans with you for our upcoming trip and to just knowing how your day has been. I love to see you smile and the expression in your eyes when I make you laugh. Like flowers need watering, sunshine and attentive care to make them grow, this communication is really important to keep our love strong  and to keep a good understanding between us.

Wrangle

     These last days were not very favourable. After some negligence of my part, not calling you and not talking to you properly for a few days, you got angry, we had a serious argument, and you talked a lot, even talking about breaking up. As an outcome, I learned very well how a permanent dialogue and a real connection are so important in our relationship. And I could see that you were right.