Means of expression

Street Art, Penang, Malaysia

Your last post included an image of street art which you took for me on one of your walks around your hometown last week. You said it was very kitsch but I liked it and it made me think of our trip to Penang back in April when we spent some time actively searching out the street paintings which were listed on a street art map of the city. It was a bit tiring because of the heat but we had fun taking pictures and interacting with the paintings as we found them anyway. The one above was charming as we could sit on the swing attached to the wall next to these painted children and it really looked as if we were part of the scene. This also reminds me that on our very first trip to Istanbul back in February on the first day we were out walking around the city, we took photos next to a pretty wall painting we came across in an alleyway. I include a photo of this mural  for you here below from that day to remind you. Too bad the heart drawn next to it did not have the initials A & C instead of A & B or it would have been really perfect! 

I have never been a big fan of graffiti but the street art phenomena seems to have grown a lot in the past few years and  I have to admit it can add life, color and a whimsical touch to an otherwise nondescript space. It can also make a great backdrop for picture taking. So it is growing on me and I can appreciate it more and more as a means of expression although I still don't agree with random defacing of other people's property. It seems in Brazil there will be a lot of street art to discover. I have been reading about a place in Sao Paulo called 'Beco do Batman' or 'Batman's Alley' where the entire passageway is painted by different artists who continually change what is added there so it is always new and surprising. I am not sure if you have ever been to this place but it could be nice to go there and see it together on one of our days exploring around. We will have a good time taking photos together for sure, as we always do.

Beco do Batman, Sao Paulo, Brazil

To love is to have, to desire is to want

I recently listened to a talk by a psychologist on the dynamics of relationships: about why so many of us today are unhappy in love and why the majority of marriages fail. In the past she said, marriage was a social contract entered into to provide financial safety and familial stability and that people did not marry with an expectation of the fulfillment of romantic love. I am not sure this is entirely true but for certain marriage as a stabilizer and as a social pact was by far more important than the ideal of romance when choosing a partner in the past.

Yet today, we want and expect everything, and even diametrically opposed things from a single relationship. We want the safety and stability and certainty that marriage brings combined with the charge, attraction, desire and passion of a love affair. We want our partners to be our best friends and confidants, to share all of life's duties and burdens equally and to accept us with all our flaws and we expect them at the same time to be continually appealing, desirable and 'new' to us. The psychologist said that if love is about security and 'having',  desire is about 'wanting', it is the excitement of  'not having', of discovering, exploring and of the sensation this brings which makes us feel alive. 

It seems the key to longevity then in relationships is to keep some 'distance', not necessarily physical distance (as we are enduring now) but mental separation. To see one's partner not only in relation to oneself but as an individual. In other words to try to see this person so familiar to us with a sense of wonder and curiosity, to admire them for who they are and for their achievements, separate from our own. I had a moment like that last night when you sent me the letter your received from the university in Denmark listing off all of your academic qualifications and all that you have achieved in your career. This came at the perfect time actually, reminding us both of what you have done, after a week of you questioning yourself.

Going back to the issue of separation versus togetherness, it is a well known saying that 'familiarity breeds contempt' and this is true. Remember that couple with 3 kids we saw sitting across from us at the restaurant in Bangkok on your last night here in April and how they were staring blankly into space looking as miserable together as a couple could possibly be?  We observed them and said we hoped we would never be like that and that we would always take care to not take one another and our love for granted. I'm not sure we have followed this as well as we could have these past two months. But, in any case, we are in the process of building and defining our relationship and figuring out how we will go forward together while respecting each other's differences and individual selves. It is a bumpy road sometimes but we seem to find a way step by step towards a 'we' that we will both be happy with in the end. 

Blowing hearts on a wall

 

     It's great to be back to my hometown for a few days and meet my family, my friends, my books and my dogs again. Everytime I come here I watch the changes that have been taking place everywhere, some of them extreme and a number of them not very nice. How much nonsense has been done in the name of progress! But fortunately this small and unattractive urban sprawl, which is not even known by the rest of the country, still preserves a bit of innocence and peculiarity.

     Yesterday I was walking my dog near the School of Music, by the river, when I saw this graffiti on a wall. It's abominably kitsch, but I decided to take a picture of it and bring it here as a token of my love. When it comes to expressing my feelings for you, I don't mind to be cheesy or tacky.

     I can't wait to meet you in São Paulo international airport next week after a long time away from you. We have a fine plan for the time you will spend in Brazil and great things to do. I am delighted with your enthusiasm and excitement for the discoveries you and I will make together here.

A glimpse of things to come



Ouro Preto

I came across this old photo of the colonial town of Ouro Preto taken by a traveler in the 19th century while researching a bit on our upcoming trip around Brazil. I love old photographs and I thought this one was particularly romantic with its sepia tones showing off the traditional architecture of this historic 17th century gold mining town in the hills. It will be one of the places we visit on our 3 week trip around your country where we will dedicate a lot of our time to your own home state of Minas Gerais. I am excited about it and to discover it with you as my guide. I am used to always being 'the guide' while traveling so this will be a nice and welcome change for me.

I never dreamed I would be going to South America, no less to Brazil during the World Cup so it is an unexpected adventure and even better because of that. I don't know what to do to prepare myself properly to be honest, but am just looking forward to being back at your side, to switching off from work and the distractions and stresses of everyday life and to relaxing and absorbing a wonderful new place. Your place. Just 5 days to go.

Two passions

     Today is Valentine's Day in Brazil. I woke up thinking about you and wanting to be with you. My 18-year old nephew has just gone out with a breakfast basket to his girlfriend. 

     It's also the opening of the World Cup, with Brazil playing. All the nation is expecting this game for a long time. It will be a moment to get together and celebrate. I wish you were here to share this moment with me, my family and my friends. In two weeks, however, we will be together again and you will experience a bit of the Brazilian passion for football. And it will be even better to be with you and travel around São Paulo, Minas Gerais and Rio de Janeiro. You will be better than the World Cup to me.

If I should lose you...

Smalls Bar, Bangkok

Last Sunday evening I stumbled across a cozy new neighborhood bar whilst out walking around and exploring a  neighborhood not far from my home. I liked the place immediately, went in, sat down and ordered dinner and enjoyed listening to the great jazz music they had playing in the background. Some songs I knew and others I did not but they were all great and just my taste. I fell for the place and thought how nice it would be to bring you here with me when you are back in August.

Listening to the music that evening reminded me that I had myself collected a lot of jazz music and albums on my old computer which I had not listened to in ages and so I came home and started to dig through my music library to rediscover them. I wound up creating a very big jazz playlist as a result which I have been listening to ever since. There are so many songs in this list that my computer tells me it would take 26 hours to hear them all, which is a lot if you think about it. And I have more to add still.  When you are here it will be nice to listen to it together while we enjoy mornings in bed or over brunch while relaxing at home.

Just now I had it playing and heard a song called 'If I Should Lose You' by Nina Simone, one of my all-time favorite singers, and it made me think of you. Here are the lyrics and a recording of this sad but beautiful song. I hope you like it.

If I should lose you

The stars would fall from the skies

If I should lose you

The leaves would wither and die

The birds in Maytime

They'd sing a mournful refrain

And I would wander around

Hating the sound of rain

With you beside me

No wind in winter would blow

With you beside me

A rose would bloom in the snow

I gave you my love 

But I was living a dream

And living would seem in vain

If I lost you

 

Expecting you

     I'm now in São Paulo, in a sojourn along the south hemisphere winter. Some days can be very cold here, especially in July and August. It's my second winter in the same year! But all right. I am thinking about you all these days and I am looking forward to meeting you in three weeks. I will be happy to show you a lot of interesting things in Brazil during this period when the world will be looking at the World Cup here. I've been missing you a lot, but when we talk through the internet and I see you it soothes a bit my urge to have you in my arms again. Come quickly!