Every time we say goodbye.....

My darling,

A beautiful song by Cole Porter which expresses better than I can my feeling this evening without you here by my side. I hope you got home safely. Let me know. x

Every Time We Say Goodbye

Every time we say goodbye, I die a little.
Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little.

Why the gods above me, who must be in the know,

think so little of me they allow you to go.

When you're near there's such an air of spring about it.

I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it.

There's no love song finer but how strange the change from major to

minor,

Every time we say goodbye, every single time we say goodbye.

From Angels to Apsaras

Apsara Dance, Bayon Temple

The jump from angels to apsaras is not such a big one: both angels and apsaras are graceful and inhabit a clestial realm in the Hindu/Buddhist pantheon of deities. We found some lovely angels on our visit to Chiang Mai recently and this past weekend, on your first visit to Cambodia, at the temples of Angkor, you encountered the apsaras whose main function is to dance and to entertain the Gods. The apsaras are carved in dancing postures on the pillars and lintels of almost every temple, performing an eternal dance for all those who visit. Sometimes their postures are gentle and their smiles enigmatic. Other times they stretch their limbs in the most fantastic ways, curving their arms and pulling their knees up close to their chests while grinning broadly. Yet despite these contortions, they remain controlled and elegant in their movements.

I have always liked apsaras and one morning while visiting the lesser known temple of Banteay Kdei with you, I decided to do something silly and try to imitate their dance after seeing them carved on the posts around us where we were standing. We were alone so I pulled my leg up and stretched out my arms and smiled widely with a really silly expression on my face. I wanted to make you laugh and asked you to take photos of me. Shaking your head in disbelief and asking if I was not "shy" to do "such things" you went along with me and I know you secretly enjoyed it. I told you how I think it is good to be silly sometimes and to have a good laugh at oneself. You told me in turn that in Latin America, people are afraid of looking ridiculous and of course we know well that you are a really "shy" guy. So I appreciated it all the more then when you agreed reluctantly (after a fair bit of coaxing) to perform your own version of the apsara dance for me. I laughed so hard I could barely keep from crying. That I think was the highlight of my morning! And for those who would never believe you could be convinced to do such a thing, we have the photos to prove it. Love you.

A sunset over Cambodia

 

     We have just come back from Siem Reap, in Cambodia. I loved the place and the people there. The many beautiful Khmer temples, built ten, eleven centuries ago, are remains of a golden age. On the other hand, the Cambodian people preserves something innocent and pure that the Westerners lost a long time ago.

     One of our greatest moments was in the end of last Sunday afternoon, when we just sit on the top of Pre rup to watch a postcard sunset. The sky displayed many shades of yellow and red against the greens of the forest below. We were there sitting side by side, hand in hand, talking carelessly about life, but mainly enjoying that magic moment. I have been a very lucky man to have such a pretty smart woman like you after so many accidents in my life.

Temple Angel

Thevada, Ubosot, Wat Phra Singh, Chiang Mai

We have just returned from a long weekend in the north where I introduced you to many things from my former life there. You got to experience the hotel I am working with, to visit my small piece of land outside the city and to try the food and touch the customs and culture that was very close to me for many years. It was great to share that with you and thanks for being so supportive of my life choices and for understanding them so well.  We spent a lot of time exploring the many temples in the city, some were right at the center of the old town while others were out of ways: for example the mountain top temple of Doi Suthep and the small but very beautiful village temple of Wat Ton Kwien. We shared some nice moments in each of them.

When I go back to these places I always find something new to discover no matter how many times I have visited them before and this time it was this stucco angel at the temple of Wat Phra Singh which caught my eye. This angel, which is called 'Thevada' in Thai is very beautifully crafted with a gentle face and hands held up in deep respect to all who enter. There is an elegant parasol over the angel's head and the contrast of the white stucco and the deep red of the wooden beams that enclose the space is also very nice. We were busy paying attention to the naga snakes on the temple's balustrade but I am glad we noticed this angel as well and took a moment to rest in front of it and to take some photos there. Thai people believe that each of us has a Thevada angel protecting us and keeping us from harm's way.  I hope we have one as well watching over us: taking pity for our past sad hearts and guiding us to a happier and more peaceful future. 

Two feet on an elephant's back

 

     We have just returned from four days in Chiang Mai, in Northern Thailand, a place that is part of your story in this part of the world. I was really impressed by the particular culture of the city, its food, its music, its architecture, its lively streets. We had great moments visiting a series of Buddhist temples, where I was impressed by your knowledge of your religion and the Thai language, too. You are very smart and talented and I admire you a lot. I have learned very much with you!

     But you always like to have a taste of something very local anywhere we travel. Once in Vietnam we went to eat in a strange restaurant in a suburb of Hanoi. I'm still not very sure on what we ate there. This time the local adventure involved nothing more than elephants. We went for a ride in a big one, crossing a bit of the tropical forest on its back. They are very intelligent animals and very affective as well.

     In the middle of this ride, you asked me to take off my sandals and feel the texture of the elephant's skin and its thick hard hairs. It was great, but it was also an opportunity for our feet to have a moment of love and caring. This way any taste of something local anywhere will be lovely.

Love messages on an ordinary day

     In this day when I have been working from home, I went out to have lunch and my telephone was disconnected from the internet for a while. But as soon as I came back, just when I opened the door, I have got a message from you that reads: "I love you. My skirt loves you. And my fingers and lips love you too. That small curve on my lower back loves you and my hips, they love you too. Even the small green dots on my eyes love you. It's a lot of love, don't you think so too? xx"

     For a while I had no action and I was just re-reading it. You like to surprise me.

     This love you feel is the proper definition of happiness to me, because I am loving you with all my heart and soul as well. However, if I have to reply in your style, I would say that I love you. My football boots love you. And my eyes and legs love you too. My teeth and my chest (where you like to lay your head in the morning), they love you too. Even the lines in my face when I smile love you. It's a lot of love, don't you think so? Many kisses, my little darling!

Beautiful things are difficult

     I remember one day last month when we were walking around the historic  town of Tiradentes and, in a not so fancy part of it, we saw a graffiti on an old wall with a phrase: "Beautiful things are difficult," I even asked you to be near it, in order to take a picture of you, because that phrase has a lot to do with you...

     We are now on a weekend in the south of Thailand. Because you were working yesterday, I went on a boat trip to a few beaches in the Adaman Sea. In actuality, I'm maybe the only Brazilian guy who is not a fan of beaches and the sea. But I appreaciated the trip very much, not even because of the stunning landscapes, the warm green water and the little fish that accompany the swimmers all around, in expectation for some food. I also remembered that phrase, your phrase. Yes, beautiful things are difficult. For the first time in my life I went snorkeling, being possible to swim in places I wouldn't be able to swim without the snokel. And I could have amazing views of many sorts of fish at the bottom of the sea and I even saw an eel. But in the end, in my enthusiasm, I cut a toe in a rock and I slightly touched a jelly fish. And that reminded me of you. As a matter of fact, beautiful things are difficult!